What he should’ve said

I’m not breaking my vow to never blog again…I’m just sayin’ that our President’s speech was too long, and all wrong.

Here’s what he (or McConnell) should’ve said:

My fellow human beings, over the past hundred years, American voters have gradually surrendered their property, initiative, freedom and security to politicians, and that was a stupid thing to do.

Now our debts and fear/aggressions, crimes and perversions have grown so big and obvious that, frankly, I’m embarrassed that you still think that you can trust politicians with your life, liberty and pursuit of health insurance.  The whole point of our constitutions was to put a leash on politics, so that real people could live by their own choice, generosity, sweat and ingenuity.  But we rob you blind, tell you we saved you from worse, and you’re still voting for this two-headed, two-faced Demorepublicrat monster.

Dang, people.

It’s by your choice that those who’ve been right all along are called “fringe,” and most accurately, “loser;” while those who’ve been wrong, or worse, deceived you intentionally, are called “expert,” “wonk,” or of course, “The Honorable so and so.”

I cannot apologize for your choices, but I am truly sorry that we politicians did what comes natural to us, and that you still have much to suffer before our mess can be made right.

I’ve already said that I’d rather be a good one-term President than a mediocre two-timer.  So whether voters have learned from our collective mistakes or not, I now intend to do what’s right.

And what’s right is to recognize that, while any fool can wield power, only the great restrain it.

My fellow Americans, I am the President who will wean you off politics.

You want somebody to care for you?  Make some friends, join a church or voluntary service association, and raise a good family.  If you can’t get people to care for you voluntarily, I’m sure not going to sqeeze taxpayers for you.

As for a financial stimulus?  I will suggest that Congress gets double-pay to just stay home and leave you the heck alone.

About terrorism…we never should’ve gone weak-kneed over zealots with exploding underpants.

I’m telling all you red-blooded game hunters out there, that as of right now, it’s open season on terrorists.  Have at ’em, but of course try not to make too many mistakes.  You plug ’em, we’ll plant ’em.

Does that scare you?  If so, then you have no idea how much suffering currently takes place, even in the homes of our soldiers; and you have no idea how much our endless wars cost you in money, social disorder, freedom, security and opportunities lost forever.

Overnight, ordinary rednecks could end, and forever scare away terrorism, at a tiny fraction of the current cost in dollars, corruption and human life; and allow us to bring our troops home.  Not just from Afghanistan and Iraq, but from all over the world.  We’d no longer flex our muscles or play nanny on foreign soil, because the world would know that we are impenetrable here at home.

As far as job creation goes?

I know economics was supposed to be two-thirds of my speech.  But government is violence, not business.  Government is more about oppression, slavery, genocide and war than anything else it may pretend to be.  It never creates.  It cannot give without first taking.  You should never have let us rob Peter to pay Paul.  Not only is it morally wrong in its essence, but you should have known that you are not Paul.

To wrap this up, let me say that I have read the Constitution that I swore to uphold against all enemies, foreign and domestic; and I now aim to do just that, as written in both black, and white.  People have fought and died for this precious contract, and I will never again let anyone in my administration treat it with anything other than respect.

Then again, it’s up to you, American voters, to hold me to that.

Thank you, and may God bless us all.

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