…They must be kidding me

I wasn’t going to blog about such things. I really do mean to focus on my primary objective and avoid wasting time on anything else.

However, just moments ago I just opened the Final Order/assessment of a $503.68 “civil” penalty to the Horning for Governor campaign for what was, perhaps, the all-time most trivial offense against Indiana Election Commission paperwork.

We failed to properly close-out our meagerly funded campaign and report the money we didn’t make by their deadline.  That’s it.

But  the whopping fine, amounting to a huge percentage of what my campaign raised, is not what I’m writing about.

And no, it’s not that I’m miffed that Obama or Charlie White got away with much more serious violations of campaign and civil law, while a poor schlemazel like me has to cough up the dough.

(though, in case you’re wondering, I am miffed about all that).

No, I’m really writing about the two (2) quarter-sheet notices slipped into the envelope.

The two sheets were identical, and said,


The styrofoam cube enclosed in this envelope is being included by the sender to meet a United States Postal Service regulation. This regulation requires the letter or package to be ¾ of an inch thick at its thickest point. The cube has no other purpose and may be disposed of upon opening this correspondence.

For any further questions or comments about the styrofoam cube only, please call 1-888-624-5990.

Now, there is so much wrong with this, that I hardly know where to start. Forget that StyrofoamTM is a trademark of the Dow Chemical Company and should …by law,  be so noted. Forget that the enclosed bit was not a cube at all (it was supposed to be a parallelepiped, but it was smashed into a rhombus). I don’t care so much about clumsy or incorrect grammar and such (“is being included,” or “disposed of upon opening”). And I’m assuming I was given two notices by mistake (may I never find out that this is another regulation!)

No, this is just one of those freakishly weird regulations that none of us could possibly know about unless we’re in the business of sending dangerously, criminally thin packages. I see this as analogous to having to duck under a sign that says “WARNING, Low Sign / ¡ADVERTENCIA, Señal de baja! placed in accordance with the Officious, Unnecessary and Badly-Worded Signage Act of 2010” 

I’m quite tempted to call that 888 number and…  No, strike that.  I don’t even want to know how many people staff that line at taxpayer expense.  I think I’ll just slip the “cube” and the little sheets into the documents I’m mailing to the Governor (https://wedeclare.wordpress.com/2011/03/01/713/).  Maybe he’ll be amused.  Maybe the package will look suspicious and get “special attention.”


We must oppose this unregulated regulation/lawless lawmaking madness with all our wits and might; and we must not waste any more time in this important endeavor.

Please join me.


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14 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Does the 3/4″ rule apply to everyone, or just gubberMENTAL agencies? This is the most ridiculous (and hilarious) thing that I’ve heard today. Hang in there! Good luck on Monday!

  2. You know, Mike, I don’t think I want to know… Just the fact that this law is OUT THERE is totally unacceptable.

  3. You absolutely must blog about things such as this! You just delivered your Rule of Law message by bringing in the actions we can all relate to. We are all too familiar with you must do this now, but government seems to be more than able to take their own and our time in waiting, anticipating and then being shocked by what we receive. You were looking for a way to connect Rule of Law to everyday life to raise awareness, your description will hit the mark with many. If they don’t know what Rule of Law is, you will probably be asked. Keep your attitude on hand for Monday, your passion will come through.

  4. Thank you, Phyllis. Let’s see how it goes on Monday. It’ll take more than just MY attitude to fix things, but I do suspect that I will be properly stoked and at full steam.

  5. Exactly why you must keep blog active and repeating the message, and having supporters forward your entries to all their contacts. Regardless of how it goes Monday, your attitude needs to be sustained in order to be contagious, we must all catch it in order to begin the correction. As one of your supporters I will do all I can to keep you engaged.

  6. Eh, not that many people read this. My best days these days only go to about a hundred. Most days much, much less.
    And how many people would stop here that don’t already, to some degree, agree with me?
    This is just not worth doing.
    I need to do something else.

  7. Your blog needs to be forwarded by those who do stop to all others they know, to increase circulation, the people need to know you are out there. We have the same problem at LPIN very good articles are posted with little activity. I have been asking LP members to go to the posts, comment and forward to all on their contact list and FB. Spreading the message is the problem…..exposure…the message is here we just need to mobilize and keep driving. The net is after all responsible for the presidential election, the message kept getting pushed by all followers. Unfortunately we are starting with a lot less followers, so it will take all of us bugging our family, friends, co-workers, Legislators all contacts constantly to get started. But it all depends on a LEADER. You have the desire and drive to lead, you are the foundation. Problems must be exposed and resolutions proposed. You are a known individual I am not, people think about what you write and respond, I am ignored. All you need is to follow the Obama saturation plan.

  8. I agree with Phyllis’ previous comment, and I do send your comments (with the link) to my friends. I will advertise “We Declare” on my own blog, and on FB.
    Andy, remember this, Whether or not you have 100 or 1,000,000 followers, you are keeping your sanity by writing your thoughts. It’s therapeutic, and allows you to more effectively arrange your thoughts and plans. And, if I and Phyllis, and other “like minded” readers forward your rants, more and more citizens will have the opportunity to open their eyes and minds, and we will be well on the way something big. We could make TJ proud. You ARE a natural born leader so you can skip city, state and US congress and go straight to POTUS. (but leave TOTUS at home) ;-}

  9. Well, thank you sincerely guys. Your words mean a lot to me.
    But depending upon how the press conference goes (if a press conference happens at the statehouse, and there’s no press to see it, was there a press conference? If they do show up, and there are only six of us showing amidst the vast expanse, whistling wind and tumbleweeds, did we do more harm than good?), I have to think about what comes next. I don’t think I’ve got much more to say in this format that I haven’t already written down.
    I need to do something more effective.
    The bottom line is that there are a billion bloggers and other digitial endeavors. There are a squillion organizations and a fillion “initiatives.”
    What we need is presence in the real world. We need to be at public fora and on the streets.
    We need people knocking on doors and talking at press conferences all over.
    And we don’t have much more time before this all gets a lot (a lot) harder to do…

  10. Just called the local post office, because the phone number about the styro cube doesn’t work, and they said in order to get delivery confirmation the letter needs to be rigid also, and she says the federal government is trying to save money and the styro cube is the cheapest way to go!!! YAY!! they really are looking out for us! I can relax now, they are saving money…ahhh….

  11. Oh my. I really wish I didn’t know that. I need to go find some mental floss to get that madness out of my head…

  12. The letter needs to rigid and the cube is the way to go, unless the cube is the same size as the letter, how does the cube keep it rigid? Sorry, I’ve been out of school a lot of decades, If the cube does not fill the entire size of the envelope, I have floppy edges, guess I need to go back to school………which ones teach the best government interpretation classes?

  13. I’m sure even Carl Sagan couldn’t imagine just HOW MANY regulations there are like this. More numerous than the stars, more unfathomable than the end of infinity…these ever-changing, rapidly proliferating regulations have, I believe, created the archetype for Hell…

  14. Well now, this one I understand. After all mainstream media and current officials keep informing us that all these regulations are for the community good needed to protect us and with the advent of the needed regulations the government needs employees to draft and enforce the regulations, thus government is protecting us and growing the economy by providing jobs. What more could you want? Of course it is at your financial expense and cost of your individual rights, but who cares, after all it is the government and they know what is best.

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